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The Sex Files: Does Auckland or Wellington have a better gay scene?
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Welcome to Gay Stay New Zealand
Having lived in both Auckland and Wellington in the last few years, I'm often asked which city is more conducive to the most open, supportive, and fun gay life. The capital is a liberal bubble of public servants and university students.
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It's unlike most cities with cross-sections of people from all ends of the political spectrum — in Wellington, social conservatism, homophobia, and other kinds of bigotry don't really fly. This isn't to say that Auckland is an alt-right haven of anti-gay sentiment, but there are parts of the city where I'd fear somewhat for my safety I count verbal abuse and even judgmental looks as harmful; not all homophobic aggression has to be physical if I were to hold hands with another man.
With the exception of a select couple of central city suburbs, I don't feel terribly confident being an openly gay person in Auckland. However in Wellington — no matter the suburb — I feel completely confident holding hands with my husband, day or night, everywhere I go. It seems like a small thing in terms of quality of life for straight people, but for us, it's one of the cornerstones of how accepted we feel by society.
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If you're single in Wellington, though, you'll have a tougher time than in Auckland. It's purely because of numbers: the gay community in the capital is mostly made up of university students under the age of 22, or those who have been coupled-up for almost a decade. There are certainly very few single young professional types on the gay scene. While Auckland doesn't exactly have a plethora of dating options, the city's sheer population allows for many more opportunities. Whether you prefer app-dating on the likes of Tinder or Grindr or making connections with people at various central city hotspots, it's not too difficult to meet other LGBT people that might be your "type".
I'd rate the nightlife scene for gay people in both Auckland and Wellington as "acceptable", yet neither city is really a party town for LGBTs. You can eat, drink, and be as colourful and fabulous as you want and nobody really bats an eyelid. The same goes for Ponsonby Road in Auckland, except the vibe is more upmarket. The bars are fancier, the clientele has more money, and while it can feel a little more intimidating, I feel that's simply the Auckland scene in general.
Auckland has the added bonus of K'Road, the red light district — with its bars, clubs, sex shops and other venues, and more for people of all sexualities.
Family, the most famous gay bar, is fun in a trashy but good-trashy way. If you're going out on a Saturday night in the city, it's likely where you'll end up in the end.